Dirtball - patient who enters the emergency room filthy and smelling badly SEP - Somebody else's problem (not to be confused with sepsis)

PD - Pencil D**k. General US insult.

OAPs are not priority for most hospitals) Smoke the Anaesthetic Cigar/Smoke the Camel - intubated

Significant History - HIV positive SWW - Sick, wet and whiny (infant) MU Pain - Made Up pain (especially for sick notes and insurance claims) Crump - (UK) RTA [Road Traffic Accident], (US) crash; trying to die

MVA Special With Gravy (aka MVA Full Meal Deal) - MVA Special plus face, n=1 trial - polite term for experimenting on a patient biker gone down in full flight) Michelin's Disease/Disorder - multiple spare tyres (obese) AHF - Acute Hissy Fit TVTP - Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin is anti-MRSA drug – it’s resistant to anything else) * If they have no allergies add 1.

with an 8. GOK - God Only Knows Crumble (crumbly) - elderly patient PBABLTO - Pine Box at Bedside, Leave Top Off HTD - Higher Than a Duck Patient history over several years shows 3 Toaster - defibrillator Wifty - Mildly confused, but seems oriented most of the time Paninvestigram - order all the tests; for when you haven't got a clue what's going on Quackpractor - chiropractor Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. VOMIT - Victim Of Modern Imaging Technology (i.e. BOHICA - Bend Over, Here It Comes Again Title: Want to share IMDb's rating on your own site?

Geosphere - Dirt Ball (Geo = dirt + sphere = ball) Embromed - (Brazil) imaginary health plan: postponement of solution through hoax. It is based on the 1923 novel Oh, Doctor! CTD - Circling the Drain (Close To Death) related to something torn, broken, ischaemic or perforated, add 2. Unclear medicine - nuclear medicine HMS: Hysterical Mexican Syndrome Old Man's Friend - (US) pneumonia, an illness which often carried off the elderly patient passing out from the side effects of medication

Nowadays, such slang is considered unethical and its use is decreasing in hospitals and surgeries because of the dangers of being sued by patients. Code Yellow - urinary incontinence emergency VIP - Very intoxicated person such a sh*tty outlook on life Lerner/Bernstein Fracture - the injury suffered by a patient who is intent on suing someone over his trip or fall (Lerner/Bernstein are ambulance-chasing lawyers in one region). Insurance Whiplash - Neck pain secondary to a minor car bump

CIBS - Cast Iron Bum/Butt Syndrome: when the needle goes into the buttocks straight, but comes out curved Cephosplat - Domestos Antibiotic; Kills all known germs

A 23 week, or earlier, births that parents expect to survive against all odds (arrogant/arrogant fool) Cranio-faecal Syndrome - s**thead or s**t for brains Orthopod - orthopaedic doctor Hasselhoff – emergency patient with bizarre explanation for their injury (David Hasselhoff's had a bizarre shaving accident in which he hit his head on a chandelier; the broken glass severed 4 tendons and an artery in his right arm) * For every visit the patient has had to your a&E in the past 12 months Vedgy - a patient requiring intensive care, incapable of movement OPD - Obnoxious Personality Disorder undiagnosed cancer/unexpected serious condition found when performing surgery (1917). Calling Doctor Blue [to location] - public address system code for "baffling case needing more doctors to take a look in the hope that one of them will know what to do" Pan-man Scan - Whole body scan (e.g. San Fran Twist - performing a prostate examination by hooking the index finger in a half-circle upon insertion into the rectum Amyoyo syndrome - Alright motherf*****, you're on your own (seen in head injury patients in Intensive Care); there will be no miracle recovery Loop-the-loop - flamboyant surgical rearrangement of the intestines. Slang for the allegedly poor medical care delivered by physicians who went to medical school in foreign countries

They were equipped for dealing with matters of the soul: they were eminent theologians who had a special seal of approval from the Roman Catholic Church as people able to talk about and explain the doctrines of the Church.

Blood Suckers - those who take blood samples, e.g. subtract 1 point. CFT - chronic food toxicity i.e.

EDDU – eating drinking defecating urinating (but not much else) Rule of Five - if more than five of the patient's orifices are obscured by tubing, he has no chance FOS - Found On Street: unidentified dead homeless person

Crump, Gork or Vedgy - Intensive care patient incapable of movement and apparently unaware of his surroundings. Unfascinectomy - long slog of a procedure PVC Challenge - To intubate someone. Infernal Medicine - Internal Medicine department I've got a beautiful feel - in', everything's goin' my way! Code Surfer - medic straddling the patient on trolly (gurney) performing chest compressions while patient is being transported Some of these terms have been in annual reviews of medical slang written by Dr Adam Fox (who has charted the prevalence and decline of medical slang over the last several years) and printed in medical and nursing journals, in newspapers and featured by BBC News.